I Have The Christmas Blues...And I Am Going To Be Ok.

For me it starts with a dip in energy, a struggle to get out of bed. I feel heavy on the mattress, like my body weighs a ton. I lie with my eyes closed thinking of everything and nothing at the same time. My heart rate slows down and my breath is very slow and even. Only a real appointment with a real person with some sort of real importance will get me out of bed. I feel like I want to sleep and sleep but I never feel rested. It’s like a cloud of heaviness and sadness with no real understanding of why.

I am so loved by my partner, my friends, and my family but I have been feeling sad lately. I have a wonderful Christmas ahead with new family and travel and I could not ask for more this holiday. But in the midst of this I feel hours of depression and uncertainty.

The Christmas holiday has a surplus of emotion surrounding it. We are reminded of loved ones no longer with us and those that are far away. This season coincides with the end of a year which brings reflection and self-evaluation. Did I accomplish what I wanted this year? Did I use my time wisely and fill my life with joy this year?  It is also a time of forward thinking. What do I want to do differently in 2017? How will I reach my goals this year? Will I reach goals this year? It is so much for one month to hold!

But I was reminded today that these blues are a part of life. Every time you go through a bout of sadness, reflection, or depression you come out the other side stronger, wiser, and more whole than before. So I am going to embrace these holiday blues. I know that I am not alone in my struggle. And I will remember that this feeling of blue is only temporary.