If I Knew Then What I Know Now

I was recently directed to a podcast about the 4 Tendencies, the four ways in which people manage expectations. Be it outside expectations for work such as deadlines, or inner expectations for themselves like New Year’s resolutions.  Listening to this information has blown my mind. Not only have I learned some tools for my own life but I have found ways this information can be used to ensure that you find long lasting success in weight loss and a healthy lifestyle. Stay with me here, it’s worth it.

Here are the 4 tendencies….

  1. Upholder- responds to inner and outer expectations.
  2. Questioner- questions all expectations and will only do something if it makes sense…therefore making everything they do into an inner expectation.
  3. Obliger- will meet outer expectations but will struggle with inner expectations.
  4. Rebel- will resist all expectations, even inner expectations. Only wanting to do what they want when they want.

I would suggest taking the short quiz to confirm which tendency you are.

While this information can help you find success in personal and business relationships I think it is most useful when it comes to understanding your own motivations and what you need to personally feel successful.  After reading or listening to a bit about each tendency read below for tips on how you can be more successful with your own fitness and health regimen.

The upholder is going to fulfill obligations to everyone, including themselves. The tricky part will be evaluating what requires your time. How do you decide to work more hours on a project or go to the gym? It is important to clarify value with inner expectations as that is not always clear. Writing down the value of healthy eating and exercise may make the inner expectation more real and valid. Food prep and group exercise classes are more likely to be honored if your calendar is prepared for them. Hire a Personal Trainer for a once a month check-in.  Not too often that fitness consumes your life but often enough that you are reminded of the need for balance.  

For the questioner information is going to be the key.  Find a Personal Trainer that is very knowledgeable and prepared for your need of information. Understanding whyyou need to train a certain way will make it easier to stick to a plan. Knowing how your body uses food will make it easier to make smart choices. The trainer will also keep you focused on what is important. While information and research is important to you to meet your expectations it is equally important not to get overwhelmed with information. A trainer can do your research for you and keep you from drowning in internet.

I am an obliger and know very well how difficult it can be to stick to inner expectations. Because of this we need to create a system of outer accountability. We need to turn inner expectations into outer expectations. This can be done by signing a contract, finding a workout buddy, or hiring a Personal Trainer. It is important to remember that if you remove outer expectations you will not be better at inner expectations. It is in our nature to ignore ourselves and we must embrace this and find ways to manage our way of thinking.

Rebels are an interesting bunch and will find difficulty in coworkers, society, or spouses telling them they need to eat healthy or go to the gym. I would recommend finding a Personal Trainer that understands how you tick and works with you. You need a trainer that is going to challenge you in a productive manner. One that is going to empower you to build workouts, invent recipes, and keep you interested. You will not do well with repetition and schedules. It is necessary to find a way to feel flexible and free within the framework of health and fitness.